Story Behind The Song

Part of the original stage musical, Paper Fortune$, set in the boom-to-bust 1980's era

Song Description

Johnny Foster sells his 5 year Corporate Plan to the Bank

Lyrics

To Be Top Man

My name is Johnny Foster: I'm a key consulting man
I'm here Sir, to address Sir, with my Corporate Five Year Plan
If you sign the dotted line Sir, well, my fee's a thousand grand
That's nominal dough, phenomenally so, I'm sure you'll understand
Chucka: Sounds bloody cheap to me
I have a dream, I have a plan
I have a scheme to be top man!

ERN: By jove, there's an awful lot of really fine print here Johnny

JOHNNY: That's right Ern. Glad you noticed that. My secretary's a damned fine printer. Finest I've ever had.

ERN: Well that's okay then Johnny. That's fine.
Chucka: Nutting wrong with fine print fellas, nutting wrong at all

I'm here to crank your bankers up: their style has got to change
That's why the million bucks, good Sir, takes time to re-arrange
They've got to know your shares must grow, an aim to which they're strange
Chucka: Now you're talkin
We'll foster growth, so that we both can live, top of the range

I have a dream, I have a plan
I have a scheme to be top man!

You'd like a Toorak mansion Sir? Nice villa on the coast?
Hmmmm France? No, better Flinders Sir, we can't be seen to boast
And in return, your men will earn enough to give them most
Of life's good things, without the strings or red jam on their toast
Chucka: Ya gotta love that don't ya?
I have a dream, I have a plan
I have a scheme to be top man!

They'll need to show a profit for each desk they occupy,
Sir, if your Branch were open-air, we'd make them rent the sky Chucka: Cool man
New fee rates must incorporate enough for you and I
Implore them to make more Sir, so we can diversify
To ventures that return much more than Banking ever will
We'll postulate, then speculate, (Ernie: Speculate?) to make more money still
I fancy jam and beer myself. I'd stick with those until
Meat pies and yabbies, maybe rice, become the latest thrill!

I have a dream, I have a plan
I have a scheme to be top man!

I have a dream, I have a plan
I have a scheme to be top man!